the holy in the mundane

Oh my. God is doing incredible things around me and His love blows me away. I am humbled to be called His child and I am overjoyed to be cleaned and set free. This is going to be a hodge-podge of an entry, just flushing out my head from the past two weeks.

God has been feeding me in the most unexpected ways these past two weeks, in the literal sense. I tend to not take care of myself here, and I tend to run on little food for large chunks of time. Last week, I spent almost every day entirely on campus, morning to evening. Most of the mornings I managed to not wake up in time to pack lunch, if I had food to pack, and I also recently depleted the money on my ID card. But right and left, God has been feeding me in surprising ways. Last Wednesday, I finished off the last of my packed food by noon and I was commenting to my friend how I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the rest of the day. I walked into the my next class and a guy at my table was eating a roast beef sandwich wrap. I commented that it smelled good. A couple minutes later, he offered me the other half! ("Are you serious?") It totally took me off guard. This past Sunday, I was "trying" to do work in the library following church as usual, but hit a wall mid-afternoon. I decided I was just going to go home and get something to eat. I was walking home weighing the options in my fridge (which doesn't take long). Lo and behold, I run into my neighbor, who I don't often see, and he was out barbecuing chicken and hotdogs. He offered me a hotdog (another "Are you serious?") and then insisted that I take three. Haha, I shared with my roommate, and we were both convinced they were the best hotdogs we've ever tasted. In addition to these times, there have been continuous streams of times where someone brings pizzas to a gathering, or I happened to show up at an event that I didn't expect to have food but they did, or my teacher brings in homemade jam and farmer's market bread, or someone gives me a slice of an orange, or an entire apple, or a yogurt cup. Every time, I just gape in amazement and every time, it's so unexpected and so good. If I took the time every night to fully reflect, you would wonder how I could ever deny God's provision for me.

In the same way, I've been getting fed spiritually in such unexpected ways recently. Specifically in the form of encouragement and in convictions. God has been growing me in ridiculously huge measures this year and especially this semester. On my birthday, a couple of my close girlfriends each gave me cards and they totally overwhelmed me. Right and left, I've been getting such unexpected encouragement and comments from people that have been like a giant hug of pleasure from God. Just words from God saying that I'm doing something right, that I'm getting somewhere, that I'm growing, and that He's pleased with the ways I've been stepping out in pursuit of His voice. I've been totally overwhelmed from the guys at the Bowery mission and from my friends during the past two weeks in hearing that they can feel a joy in my eyes and in my presence. It totally blows me away that God puts His Holy Spirit within us. Honestly, it's hard for me to accept it and understand that sometimes, but God has been showing me this semester how His love is to flow out of us. God has made us interesting, if that makes sense. I've been seeing how people are drawn to me, and it's not because of me (I'm really not that interesting), it's because of God's presence in us. I had a conviction moment this past week... There are people at ESF that scare me, plain and simple. There are people who practice divination and people who just make me uneasy in ways I can't explain, and these are the people that seem to keep noticing me. And it makes me so uncomfortable, particularly with the guys. I walked into the library the one day and ended up making eye contact, not purposefully on my part, with this guy whom I've never spoken to, but he's strange. I quickly darted for the desk nooks hidden in the back of the library and exclaimed in my head "Why, do I always attract the creepy people?? God, why are on earth do they notice me all the time??"..... and here comes the "oh." Conviction time. One of those times you feel sick for having thought something like that. These were the exact people who need to hear about God's love for them. These are people that God loves dearly, and I am humbled to be someone holding this incredible gift of Life. I was reading in 2 Corinthians about how God uses us. Verse 14, "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." Well, that changes how I look at my life. In John 15:16, Jesus says "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit..." God has chosen us, incredible I know, and our lives are meant for spreading the fragrance of Christ especially with those who don't know God and aren't experiencing His tremendous freedom.

I've also been convicted these past two weeks about how little I've been truly petitioning God on behalf of my friends here, believers and nonbelievers. Being a true friend also means being an prayer intercessor on their behalf. Especially with regards to my friends who don't know God, I've been particularly wimpy in my prayers for them, if I pray for them at all. I think I have this fear that if I actually asked God to move the mountains in their lives, that He actually would! And I'm scared because I know it will mean conversations and stepping into some uncomfortable areas on my part. What a silly reason to not boldly and persistently beg God to move in their lives!

I've been blown away by the freedom in the power of Christ. Seeing it is so refreshing. Certainly during the fall semester and times this past semester prior to spring break, I'd been dulled from being able to see God's redemptive power. It was something that I just didn't remember anymore, and it was hard to follow Christ with joy when I just couldn't seem to see Him working. It was a struggle to even get out of bed, it was hard to pray, and sometimes the Word seemed like another textbook. I wrote in my journal at a prayer night in February, "I come needing Your freedom, Your redemptive power to remove the mask and darkness from my eyes." I was still learning about God, holding onto the promises I knew that I knew even though I didn't feel them, but I couldn't remember what it looked like to see God moving in me or in others. (Granted, there were plenty of examples flying around me that I wasn't seeing at the time). But then we went to the Bowery Mission in NYC. The power of Christ's freedom is more than evident at this shelter, something that smacks you upside the head, it's so blatant. God awakened my heart to sing again as He reminded me of His love, to praise His name for the good works He is doing, for the real freedom people are experiencing, and for the incredible movement of the Spirit throughout the body of Christ. In Colossians 2:13, Paul writes "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ." Colossians 1:13, "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves." God has indeed rescued us, set us free, and made us truly alive. I feel it. And don't you forget it in your life. Since coming back from spring break, I've been opened to see more of God's movement. I've been praising God for how we've been watching this year specifically as this freshman girl is being drawn to God; praising God for how one of my friends has starting coming to church on Sundays; praising God for a guy at CRU's spring break mission trip who accepted Christ one evening on the beach, who experienced that laughing, crying, burden-lifting freedom; praising God for the love He is showing to kids at an orphanage in Mexico; praising God for His servants who are bandaging the wounds of beaten boys in Senegal. I've been praising God for those great conversations, for friends that make me laugh, for movie nights with the girls, for food, for surprises, for getting hugs from my neighbor, for getting into conversations with a homeless man on the way to the library, for seeing a fox, for waterfalls, for evening frisbee games, and for His provision every single day.

And this has just been part of the last two weeks. Wow.

Please, be encouraged. Know that God cares for you. I know that it's hard sometimes and that future plans are daunting and that there are days when you just don't want to wake up. But let's seek after our great God in honesty, telling Him when we just need to see His power again because we've forgotten, telling Him when we just can't seem to find the motivation for life, but then asking for help in complete faith and the knowledge that He can and will provide it.

"Praise the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty..." - Psalm 104:1 (the wording made me smile. Oh Lord, You are very great.)